While waiting for my next opportunity to show my work I'm creating more pieces. I've got an in-house sounding board (my partner) who provides valuable feedback that often helps me see my blind spots. I'm very fortunate that he's a fan of my work so, even when I'm not sharing it with the world and hearing their opinions, I'm still getting a dose of validation dopamine to keep me motivated. Ultimately, validation is the game.

Submitting to artist calls and having that email come in with "accepted" in the subject line might be my favorite kind of validation. It means I secured one of the few coveted spots, the quality of the work was recognized and I'm part of a group of strangers with similar goals to mine. If the show has a prize I don't view it as another goal. Sure, it would be great to have a ribbon, cash prize or certificate of merit, but if I put any importance on it and I don't make the cut, then I feel like I'm questioning my approval and I'm at risk of being relegated to the "loser" category. A validation dopamine buzzkill. Disappointment is low on my wish list so I attempt to avoid it by having a healthy perspective. I'm not up against another artist and I'm not trying to be better than anyone else, I'm just trying to outdo myself.

In July I did some validation fishing with a submission because the show’s juror was Edward Goldman, art critic and host of NPR's "Art Talk.” The group show received over 500 submissions, from which 97 would be selected. When I received a rejection letter my heart sank a little, but I wasn't too upset because the call "Made in the USA: Let Freedom Ring" felt a little too political for my work.

To hedge my validation bets, I always approach calls for submissions with a clear-eyed understanding of the requested theme and weigh whether my submission would be a good gamble. In this case, I submitted four pieces but felt only two were even remotely related to the show's theme. I was most confident about "Fly Me" a mixed media piece about how the airline industry perpetuated the image of stewardesses as "call girls" in the sky. It loosely fell into the "Freedom" category, but alas, it could be a broad interpretation so, what the hell? I received the dreaded "Not Invited" email and chocked that up to me taking a poorly aimed long shot.

Within a few minutes, a correction letter quickly followed with an "Oops, you were supposed to receive an approval letter."

The disappointing letter gave me a mighty dose of the stress hormone cortisol, not what I’m trying for, but then it was quickly followed by the "psych, you've been tricked" shot of happy, validating dopamine. This is what I call the artist's speedball: pain followed by pleasure.

Then there's social media, something that's become a requirement for climbing the ladder of mass, empty social validation. My last blog post was over four months ago and while I know this may seem contradictory to the content of this post seeking validation, I felt compelled to feed the social media beast. While social media platforms are a fantastic venue for exposing your work to an audience wider than your friends and family, you have to be adept at its everchanging algorithm. For instance, Instagram started as a platform driven by photos but now its algorithm favors videos. Thinking about and generating relevant content takes me away from my work and puts me in a position of being a validation dopamine whore. In truth, I don't want the distraction of pursuing validation. It saps my confidence and puts me into a clusterf*ck horse race of "look at my work" that, if I choose not to dedicate hours creating desperate content, relegates me back to the "you could be a loser" category. I'm a post-menopausal woman and, if you're lucky enough to be in this elite club, you’re aware that your validation-seeking behaviors are now directed more toward self-fulfillment.

If you don't see regularly scheduled blogs and posts from me it probably means I'm reinvesting my energy into making art, which is the most authentic and healthy validation I can find.

I didn't win an award at the Made in America show, but I was determined to get additional feedback from this respected art critic, if only to get a glimpse of what he sees in my work.

I was also encouraged by the people who came up to me and told me stories of their personal experiences as stewardesses or those who were surprised to learn this all too recent history of oppression and sexploitation. For me, a healthy dose of validation is hearing if I’ve created something that resonates.

If you can relate to this post, please feel free to respond (preferably in an affirming and positive way) so I can experience that dose of dopamine to fuel another blog post.

Onward!

Julie

The Artist's Speedball and Finding Validation

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